The spirituality of relationship marketing: musing on the difference between direct & relationship marketing.

Being a Relationship Marketer, I have been giving a lot of thought lately to what "relationship marketing", is relative to "direct (transactional) marketing".

By cadelarge on Sep 19, 2009

Being a Relationship Marketer, I have been giving a lot of thought lately to what "relationship marketing", is relative to "direct (transactional) marketing". The distinction between the two is borne out in the different feeling, intention and spirit they are both rooted in, and the feeling they elicit. You know it when you experience it. A certain je ne sais quoi, difficult to describe but yet present. (By the way, this is the nature of spiritual things, thus the title of this piece.) There is something different about the "how" and the "why", that goes beyond the "what" that separates relationship marketing. This "how" and the "why" is reflected in authentic tone of voice & image, a sense of "apre vous", a connection around "common" values & interest, the sense of caring & of anticipation of customer needs, the easy willingness to apologize and make amends when mistakes are made. This is what we continue to learn in our marketing, and what we have not learned is what leaves us mere direct and transactional, versus relationship marketers.

We have a good "form" of (direct) marketing but lack the "spirit" that would make it "relationship marketing". As an industry we are discovering direct marketing as a complement to our personal sales forces and a model for reaching patients. Relationship marketing competence is a challenging next phase still ahead of us. We will get there with time and practice but we should not congratulate ourselves yet.


It seems to me that while direct marketing is fundamentally about getting customers into databases so that we can understand their preferences and respond appropriately, relationship marketing is something deeper and more intimate. It goes beyond appropriate response through customer-preferred channels to:

1) mutually beneficial intention (MBI), which denotes that, I am in it for us, and more so for you, than for me,
2) attention to other people's interest (AOPI), which makes MBI possible because I cannot mutually benefit you if I do not know what your interests are, and
3) faith in reciprocity (FIR) which denotes belief in the essential goodness of customers that compels them to reciprocate with purchases and championship of those brands and services that best execute MBI and AOPI for them.

In my daily practice, I see the insufficient presence and implementation of these elements, in our commercial DNA & practice, as key barriers to our bridging the gulf from direct to relationship marketing. When we develop, and ultimately approve, copy, images, offers, calls to action and marketing mixes, they still too often: 1) reflect an intention primarily toward our benefit, 2) inattentive to our customer's EVOLVING interests, and 3) fear that customer's will not reciprocate if we TRULY meet and address their needs and interests. This results in marketing campaigns which are great direct marketing but which lack the spiritual elements which go beyond transaction to relationship. We conduct ourselves this way then bemoan our customers asking for a divorce. Hmmm.

After pondering this distinction and working to describe some of the missing elements, I began to think about brand & customer experiences that I have relationships with, the point being to grasp what they have done to get me to want to maintain a relationship with them. Some characteristics that occurred to me were:

1. their businesses models inherently provide a value that I needed even before I knew about them, I am just happy to let them fill that need for me. They did not create the need, they simply fill it better then anyone else.

2. they have come to be synonymous, in my perception, with "need fulfillment", "values projection" and "meaning contribution" in my lifestyle. I am happy to see them in my email inbox or on my Facebook wall. I brag about my use of them to my colleagues. I trust them and accept their apologies when they break their promises, and yes, they apologize. I even buy more of their products than I might need at times just to assure they do not go out of business, and of course they make it convenient for me to do so.

3. they make it convenient for me to do business with them (or should I say, to get my needs met by them) which means they get more business out of me than they would otherwise, and by extension, they make it inconvenient for me to do business with their competitors. Here they demonstrate MBI and AOPI, thus making good on their FIR.

4. that while I know they are not (really) all in it solely for me, I am happy to see them benefit because my benefit is perceptually, and maybe literally, greater than theirs. Here they incite reciprocity on my part.

5. they seem to read my mind by consistently offering me better (if not new) products and services, that I either knew I needed, or that I did not know I needed but realized I could not live without after they showed it to me. Here they demonstrate AOPI.

Now one might say that this is no different than what direct marketers do, and I would agree, with one distinction. Relationship marketers do all these things but more consistently over time, in more evolved (and evolving) and integrated fashion and more authentically. As is often the case, its the "how" and the "why", not the "what" that differentiates. The "magic is in the (experiential) mix", and "execution is the BIG IDEA" we are still too often missing.

As I ponder these insights, I am challenged as a marketer working the transition, from direct to relationship, to consider how I can continue to impact and influence this transition in my organization and the industry. I believe the future of our industry relies (in significant part) on this successful transition on our part. A few next steps I think we can all consider to help in this regard are:

1. Be the voice and advocate of the customer in the organization to create and maintain MBI. Be the steward of this authentic intention & voice in the copy, images, calls to action, offers, and even metrics of every program. Know that when this intention is out of balance, you are merely a direct, transactional, not relationship marketer.
 
2. Stay connect to the evolving interests of the customer to maintain AOPI. Too often we discount the dynamic nature of customer needs & interests, and in doing so, we find out too late that we are ineffectively marketing to yesterday's customer today. Know that when you have lost touch with your customer's interests, you are out of relationship, and in jeopardy of your customer divorcing you.

3. Develop faith in the essential goodness of customers to reciprocate for needs fulfilled and interests attended to, undertanding that any business has "true" customers that sustain it, different from peripheral customers that churn. Know and take care of those "true" customers. This faith is hard to develop & maintain, as we witness and experience in our lives, but alas not impossible and when done, at least better than all competitors, makes for, well, lasting customer relationships. :-)

I worry that we as an industry, right at the time we need it most, like to call ourselves relationship marketers but come up short in practicing it. We have good intentions but you know what road those pave. Our insufficient, though evolving, competence with MBI, AOPI and FIR has hampered our ability to fully impact the health of the society in the way we desire as we have too often been satisfied with transactional direct marketing which lacks the intention and spirit which makes for relationship marketing.

You feedback and further insights are welcome at cadelarge@yahoo.com.